Rambling 17

Today I’m trying to fill out a job application for next quarter. Where I work, everyone has to reapply each quarter, but we are usually given priority over new applicants*.

Anyways, I’ve been having a little problem with it since last night, which I expressed to a few friends already.

I want to try working a new position, like smoothies, sandwiches, or cashiering**. I don’t mind continuing working in the pizza kitchen, but if I do, I don’t want to work with my current coworker. Like, ever. EVER. I fucking hate his guts. And I know it’s not nice to say that I hate someone, ‘cause he can be a nice guy and he’s generally a good worker and makes a good pizza, but for the most part, he’s got the most disgusting personality I’ve ever encountered in other human beings, and being around him makes me really fucking angry. I honestly wouldn’t be sad if he were to just drop dead in the middle of my shift tonight. I just can’t tolerate any of his racist, sexist, ableist, homophobic, immature, and all-around unprofessional behavior anymore.  

But at the same time, I don’t want to flat out report him to my boss. This is for a number of reasons.

1. I don’t want to start any problems. I know in this case I need to just bite the bullet and say something, but at the same time, I am really afraid of creating any sort of confrontational mess. I know there are tons of people out there who are in somewhat similar positions, who are upset by something that someone they work with does, but they don’t say anything because they’re more afraid of starting shit than taking a stand.*** I just don’t want to deal with any backlash, but if life has taught me anything, it’s that absolutely every choice you make will have some sort of negative consequence, so I really just need to stand up and do it. It’s the right thing to do, I think.

2. I’m not really sure how my boss will handle it. A former coworker of mine quit her job earlier this quarter because when she asked her roommate to give our boss a doctor’s note explaining that she was severely ill with stomach flu and needed to take time off, our boss accused her of being a liar and refused to accept the note. Because of that situation, I’m a bit hesitant to do so much as complain about a coworker, even though part of me thinks I’m justified and have nothing to worry about. I know enough about my boss’ personality to know that she is the kind of person who will see complaining as a sign of weakness (which to her, is unacceptable), especially if it’s from a man. And then if she asks me why, I’d have to explain myself, which would essentially throw him under the bus and circle back to reason number 1.

Ugh. It’s just a big ugly mess I don’t wanna deal with. But I gotta, I suppose. :/

I’m not sure if I’ve started repeating myself yet, so I’ll end it there. I’m just unsure how to write, “I’d like to try working a new position, an opening shift, and not work with my current coworker ever again” on the application paper without starting something. I suppose if you wanna bake a cake, you gotta break a few eggs, though, huh?****

If anyone has ideas, I’m more than happy to hear them. :)

Footnotes:

*Never mind our incredibly high employee turnover rate.

**I have ample experience as a cashier after working for that one incredibly well-known American movie theater corporation since 2006.

***Martin Vanger (Stellan Skarsgard) said something about this in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011) film. I can’t recall the exact quote but it was something along the lines of, “the fear of offending someone is far greater than the fear of death itself.” I feel like in this case, it kinda fits.

****Is that how the phrase goes?

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